|Humor in Uniform|
|"With a fresh coat of paint, it'll look brand new..."|
||On these pages, one will find a humorous collection of short stories and other articles designed to tickle your funny bone. We hope you enjoy them as much as we did...|
Book of the Month.
|Pope John Paul dies of old age and finds himself at the gates of Heaven at 0300. He knocks on the gate and a very sleepy-eyed Army Drill Sergeant opens the gate and asks, "Wadda you want?"|
|"I'm the recently deceased Pope and have done 63 years of Godly works and thought I should check in here."|
|The Drill Sergeant checks his clipboard and says, "I ain't got no orders for you here, just bring your stuff and we'll sort this out in the morning."|
|They go to an old WW II receiving barracks, 3rd floor, open squad bay. All the bottom bunks are taken and all empty lockers have no doors. The Pope stows his gear under a rack and climbs into an upper bunk.|
|The next morning he awakens to sounds of cheering and clapping. He goes to the window and sees a flashy convertible coming through the Pearly Gates.|
|The cloud walks are lined with saints and angels cheering and tossing confetti. On the back lid of the convertible sits a crusty old Army Chief Warrant Officer Four (Aviator) in dress blues, his brass glistening, a cigar in his mouth, a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand, and his other arm wrapped around a voluptuous blonde Angel with two magnificent halos.|
|This disturbs the Pope and he runs downstairs to the Drill Sergeant and says, "Hey, what gives? You put me, the Pope, with 63 years of godly deeds, in an open bay barracks, while this CW4 Aviator who must've committed every sin known and unknown to man is riding in a convertible and getting a hero's welcome - How can this be?"|
|The Drill Sergeant calmly looks up and says, "Every Pope makes it up here, but we ain't never had a CW4 before."|
|Those wild and crazy Stockton Boys|
|Few can understand the close ties that Hookers have with each other. We eat, sleep, drink, fly and die with each other. These boys, SGT Jason Hangaard and SPC Brandon Wright, from Stockton, California, are just two of the many thousands who make up family Chinook.|
| Half starved and between flights, my aircrew and I went to McDonald's. I looked at the menu and saw that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half-dozen nuggets.
"We don't have a half-dozen nuggets,", said the candidate working his way through OCS.
"You don't?", I replied.
"We only have six, nine, or twelve", was the reply.
"So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets but I can order six?"
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
|While enroute back home to Fort Bragg one summer day, I stopped at Fort Campbell for gas. I noticed a Chinook being towed into the hangar. The front of the aircraft was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in the movie "Twister". I asked a maintenance type standing nearby what had happened. He told me that the lieutenant had set the cruise control and then went in the back to make a sandwich.|
|Permission to Fire.|
|1945 verses Today.|
|Reasons to Retire.|
|Scared to Live in Aghanistan|
|Life in Aghanistan now|
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